I started a blog called "Savory Soul" because I wanted to share more than just recipes and ideas...I wanted to share a glimpse of my heart and my soul. Tonight, I feel like I have so many things going on in my head that if I don't regurgitate them soon, my internal hard drive will likely suffer a massive crash...hence, another reason I started a blog in the first place! Honestly, with everything I've been thinking about lately, I just hope this blog makes sense by the time I'm finished with it...fingers crossed!
Now, since this is in fact a blog about cooking, too, I want to at least start there. I did try several new recipes in the past three or four days. The dish I was most excited about trying, "Fillet of Sole w/ Lime Sauce" was, quite frankly, a FAIL. I was so disappointed, too, because I had such high hopes for it. The lime sauce itself was similar in style to a béchamel sauce, only with a kick of lime and wine (Ha! That rhymed! Hey, that rhymed, again!! :D) I thought it sounded delicious, but, I was wrong. I won't bother posting the recipe, because, while it didn't taste like a burning cat, per say...it also didn't taste like anything I'd ever want to make again. My technique was fine, and everything was cooked perfectly (other than almost setting the oven on fire...fyi. careful about getting tin foil too close to a broiler...That was exciting!), so, but, other than that, I know it wasn't my technique. The recipe came out of my "Blue Ribbon Country Cookbook," I guess I thought if it was good enough to get a blue ribbon, it was good enough for me. I don't think I would have given it a black ribbon, much less a blue one! Not sure what contest this won exactly, but, I'm thinking it probably won the "creme" of the proverbial "crap" category.
I did try a Colorful Marinated Vegetables with Sweet Basil Dressing recipe and also a tasty and unique take on shepards pie for a church potluck, Turkey Chili & Sweet Potato Shepards Pie (recipes below). Both were good! In the future, I am planning to try some other good looking fish recipes, including BBQ mahi mahi fish tacos and I'm going to try my hand at salt-crusted fish. With any luck, these fish recipes won't taste as terrible as my sole! Stay tuned for more on that.
I'm going to switch gears here now because I want to put down my thoughts on one of the many topics I have been thinking about lately. With many that are looming in my in my mind, I feel the need to land on one that I feel will serve as a solid foundation for the rest of my future writings: vulnerability. Vulnerability because this is the point of my blog that it would be easy for me to copy a few recipes and pictures and click "publish" instead of continue on and be vulnerable. Then, I wouldn't have to sort out what is going on in my head and what I think and how I feel about it. However, then my blog wouldn't truly live up to it's name, either. "Soul" because I intend to share my heart and thoughts with you as it relates to the woman God created me to be. Savory, because of my passion for life and, of course, food and cooking. I've got my own special blend of spices that creates the flavor of my heart! ;)
The idea of vulnerability in writing reminds me of the scene in one of my favorite movies, "Little Women" with Winona Ryder, when Professor Bhaer exhorted Jo, a writer whose fictional character was based on the great American novelist Louisa May Alcott. Jo, trying to get published, wrote short stories about pirates and adventure and things that were exciting, but, nothing that was really really "real." Being a woman in the late 1800's, she continued to get rejected again and again for her short stories of adventure because of the fact that she was a female writer writing in a man's world. Jo finally finished her novel and flushed with excitement, she brought it to Professor Bhaer, her friend and confidant, to read. She fully expected that he would adorn her with praise, as the two of them had formed a close romantic attachment. Instead, he looked at her grimly, hesitating to tell her the truth about what he really thought. Finally, he pointed out that there was nothing in the novel's content about the woman that he was privileged to know. Then, he exhorted her, "you must write from life, from the depths of your soul!" Jo, pride wounded, stormed out in anger. She then went on to write one of the greatest novels of American literature, "Little Women," which is a story filled with personal details and vulnerability.
I want to be like that! I want to not only write, but, I want to LIVE from the depths of my soul! But, what is it about vulnerability that carries such immense power? On the one hand, we long for it. But, frankly, the idea of actually being vulnerable, petrifies me! I think about these kinds of ideas and concepts often and try to make sense of them. As a Christian, you have to understand that my view of the world is that of a broken one. If you read Genesis 2:21-3:24, you can read the account of how brokenness entered the world. The implications of these passages are far beyond the surface if you really take the time to study them, and I recommend you do! But, I wonder if part of the "nakedness" that Adam and Eve felt after they sinned in the garden of Eden was more than physical nakedness...I wonder if it was maybe also emotional vulnerability. Their souls were naked and they knew it! For the first time, they could comprehend the difference between good and evil and they felt ashamed! It seems to me vulnerability is where the battle for the mind, will, heart, and emotions begins. Think about it, vulnerability, or "naked souls" as I like to call it, is the where the genesis of insecurity, shame, the fear of rejection, and the fear of abandonment all stem from it. Those things are not just fears that we carry as humans...they are our greatest fears. All of those things seem to lead to a fight and flight tactic of "covering up" ourselves in order to preserve ourselves from a fate worse than death...the state of emotional weakness. Our "cover up" is our protection against that pain, and, left in our fallen, natural state, that "cover up" will look a lot like a prideful and a self-reliant attitude.
I believe our deepest desire is to be nakedly vulnerable with other people and with ourselves. I think that was how God originally created us...perfectly naked souls...one with one another. I've made two main discoveries about being a naked soul. The first is that because of our fallen, broken state, our vulnerability isn't safe. We have to cover our nakedness with something because we do need to protect our hearts. The Bible charges us over and over again to "guard our hearts." Proverbs 4:23 says, "Keep your heart with all diligence, For out of it spring the issues of life." I think it's safe to assume those "issues" aren't the warm, fuzzy kind, but, rather, issues that lead to pain and demise.
So, on the one hand, God created us with the desire to be vulnerable and naked, on the other hand, now he's telling us to guard our hearts? My brain honestly didn't know what to do with that. I was confused and a little frustrated by it to be truthful. I had to take a hiatus from what I was thinking, think about something else, and come back to it. I found the answer while looking further through scripture. It was literally a light bulb moment when you see what God wanted you to see all along and it's staring you in the face!
That leads me to my second discovery. Since we know we have to be "covered" with something, lest we wander around aimlessly emotionally cutting ourselves to pieces (which, I think I've done that before, too!), our only option as fallen creatures is to cover ourselves with pride and a self-reliant attitude, as I mentioned above. Interestingly, God showed me that pride isn't always just about exhalting thine self for the sake of adoration, which is what I always thought it was! But, much of the time, it's about our fallen attempt at self-preservation from our own fears stemming from our soul's nakedness. I had never thought about it that way until recently! So, there I am thinking to myself, "God? Is there an option "C?" Because, the other two don't look so good!
Enter option "C." 1 Peter 5:5-6, "All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because,
“God opposes the proud
but shows favor to the humble.”
Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you."
I was so excited when I read that verse because I saw the wording in a different light. The word "clothe" was there to imply that we are in fact vulnerable and naked without it! It also implies that there is a compare and contrast between pride and humility as it pertains to our souls. As humans, we have the choice to choose one or the other as a garment. I knew right then, I was on to something! And I LOVE being on a roll!
The Bible is so full of amazing paradoxes, and this is just one of them. It will hurt your brain if you try to put it into words like I'm trying to do right now. When God sees pride covering a naked soul, He knows the walls keeping that person hidden are only keeping him captive. In other words, he's still naked, he's just masking it. The greater the wall, the more fragile the soul behind the mask. But, that's no way to live! That is why God's Word charges us to guard our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:6-7)...because not guarding them leads us to our own demise. In contrast, when he sees naked humility before His throne, he sees a naked soul that He wants to clothe with a garment of righteousness according to Isaiah 61:3, (which is a favorite verse of mine!)
"To console those who mourn in Zion,
To give them beauty for ashes,
The oil of joy for mourning,
The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness;
That they may be called trees of righteousness,
The planting of the LORD, that He may be glorified."
Then I had another "Aha!" moment where God rolled up his sleeves and said to me, "alright, you think that's cool? Just wait until you see this!" He took me full circle (as He usually does) back to Genesis 3, verse 21. But, first, God reminded me that Adam and Eve had sewn fig leaves together in Genesis 3:7 to make piddly little garments for themselves while they were hiding from God because of their naked bodies. Those garments represented the garments of pride and self-reliance and the walls we put up to hide our vulnerability. But, in verse 21, God gave them real clothes. "Also for Adam and his wife the LORD God made tunics of skin, and clothed them."
"Tunics of skin" tells us that something...some animal had died in order to give Adam and Eve their dignity back. Before they sinned, death didn't exist. Now, we see the first physical death in the Bible. God slew his own creation to do what? Clothe our nakedness. He painted a clear picture of two things right then and there. One: Grace! Which can be defined as the unmerited favor, mercy, compassion, acceptance, kindness, graciousness, goodwill and divine assistance of God. And two: The price of our sin = nakedness. The cost of that nakedness = death. The picture of Christ's death on a cross = our sin in exchange for his garment of righteousness. God slew God himself to do WHAT?! Clothe our nakedness!!! I'll give that just a second to sink in because it took me a second. The pure implication of the kind of LOVE and GRACE our God has for mankind, who are nothing! Yet, to Him, we are everything! How much 1 Peter 5:6 wasn't kidding when it tells us to cast your cares on him for he cares for you?? He CARES about our shame, our insecurities, our fear of rejection, and our fear of abandonment! He cared so much that He took it upon Himself, along with our punishment for sin, in order to give us His honor, dignity, righteousness, and peace! That is what I call "soul love!!"
Put another way, "For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him." (2 Corinthians 5:21).
When we are humble before God and others, we aren't weak, we are strong! He exchanges His strength for our weakness. Option "C" wins because we get to be our true naked souls without the fear. Not that we will not continue to have pain in this world, but, that when we do have pain, we have a God who takes it upon Himself and gives us His peace for our mourning and His beauty for our ashes. But! Only when we humble ourselves before Him. So, for you soul exhibitionists out there, party on!! You know who you are! ;) Our soul's are protected and guarded in "garments" of righteousness. We don't have to fear vulnerability or shame anymore! It is our naked humility that makes us strong when we are in Christ Jesus. Hallelujah!
Have a great week! Please check out the recipes below if you'd like. Bye bye for now! :)
Update (4/24/2011): I stumbled across this quote by CS Lewis just after I wrote this blog and I thought it more than appropriate to share -
"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable."
— C.S. Lewis (The Four Loves)
Turkey Chili & Sweet Potato Shepards Pie
(Recipe from www.foodtv.com)
Ingredients
* 2 1/2 pounds sweet potatoes, 4 to 5 potatoes, peeled and cubed
* Salt
* 2 teaspoons orange zest
* 4 tablespoons butter, cut into pieces
* 1 cup creme fraiche or sour cream
* Freshly ground black pepper
* Freshly grated nutmeg, to taste
* 2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
* 2 pounds ground turkey
* 1 large onion, chopped
* 2 small chile peppers, red fresno, jalapeno or serrano
* 1 red bell pepper, chopped
* 2 to 3 large cloves garlic, chopped
* 3 tablespoons chili powder (recommended: Gerhardt's)
* 1 tablespoon smoked sweet paprika
* 1 tablespoon ground cumin, a palmful
* 1 tablespoon ground coriander, a palmful
* 1/4 cup tomato paste
* 2 to 3 cups turkey or chicken stock
* 2 cups shredded sharp yellow Cheddar
Directions
Add the potatoes to a large pot, cover with water and bring to a boil over medium heat. Salt the water and cook to tender about 12 to 15 minutes. Drain and return to hot pot. Add the zest, butter, creme fraiche or sour cream, salt, pepper and nutmeg, to taste.
While potatoes are coming to a boil, heat a chili pot with extra-virgin olive oil, 2 turns of the pan, over medium-high to high heat. Add the turkey and brown, then add in the onions and cook 2 to 3 minutes. Chop the peppers, then add them along with the garlic to the turkey. Stir in the spices, and add salt and pepper, to taste. Cook for 8 to 10 minutes, then add the tomato paste and cook for 1 minute. Stir in the stock and simmer a few minutes to thicken and combine flavors.
Preheat the broiler.
Transfer the chili to a casserole, spread the potatoes over the top and cover with Cheddar cheese. Brown under the broiler until golden and serve.
Colorful Marinated Vegetables with Sweet Basil Dressing
(Recipe from "The Blue Ribbon Country Cookbook: The New Standard of American Cooking")
Serves 6
Ingredients
2 cups fresh broccoli flowerets
2 cups fresh cauliflower flowerets
1/4 pound (about 1 3/4 cups) fresh snow peas
1 cup carrots pared and sliced diagonally 1/8 inch thick
1 cup small cherry tomatoes
3/4 cup yellow bell peppers cut julienne
3/4 cup Sweet Basil Dressing (recipe follows)
Directions
Steam the broccoli flowerets for 2 minutes. Immediately remove the steamer basket containing the broccoli from the pan. Leave the broccoli in the steamer basket and rinse under cold running water to stop the cooking. Drain well. Place the broccoli in a zipper-seal plastic bag; refrierate until completely cold. Steam and store the cauliflower flowerets, following the same procedure as for broccoli flowerets.
Remove the strings and ends from the snow peas. Steam the snow peas 1 minute and follow the same procedure as for preparing the broccoli flowerets. Steam and prepare the vegetables seperately to preserve their individual colors and flavors.
In a large mixing bowl, place the broccoli, cauliflower, snow peas, carrots, cherry tomatoes, yellow peppers, and Sweet Basil Dressing; using a wooden mixing spoon, toss until combined. Cover and let stand in the refrigerator at least 1 hour. Toss agian and serve.
Sweet Basil Dressing
(Recipe from "The Blue Ribbon Country Cookbook: The New Standard of American Cooking")
Makes about 1 1/4 Cups
Ingredients
1/3 cup extra-virgin olive oil
1/3 cup vegetable oil
1/2 cup cider vinegar
3 tablespoons snipped, fresh basil
3 tablespoons of sugar (I use raw organic sugar)
1/4 teaspoon white pepper
Directions
In a pint jar, place the olive oil, vegetable oil, vinegar, basil, sugar, and white pepper; cover and shake vigorously until blended. Refrigerate up to 1 week.
